Karmic Relationships: 9 Signs you’re in one

Does your relationship feel like a whirlwind? Are you tired of swinging between intense passion and immense turmoil? This article will give you clarity about whether you are in a relationship with a karmic partner, a soul mate, or a twin flame, plus give you the tools to heal your connection.

What is a Karmic Relationship?

A karmic relationship is an intense connection, often with extreme highs and lows. Usually, there is a feeling of ‘instant attraction’ and the relationship begins quickly. The purpose of this kind of relationship is to heal unresolved issues and support partners to understand themselves better, heal and grow. However, the relationship is not always sustainable.  

spiral of rocks in sand with the words Karma and a heart

Often, karmic relationships are mistaken for a soul mate or twin flame connection. This is because of the ‘instant attraction’ felt when two partners first meet. However, whilst it is possible to experience many karmic relationships and soul mates in a lifetime, you can only have one twin flame. We will be discussing this in more depth in this article…

Karmic relationships can also be mistaken for toxic, co-dependent relationships. Whilst it is true that co-dependency may be a sign of a karmic relationship, it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is toxic. In fact, a karmic relationship can be a truly healing experience.

This will lead us into exploring whether karmic relationships can turn into soul mate connections.

You may be wondering ‘are karmic relationships meant to last?’

We will be delving into the longevity of karmic relationships and you will also discover:

– How to heal co-dependency in a karmic relationship

– How to consciously and peacefully leave a karmic relationship

– How to transform a karmic relationship into a stable soul mate connection

Signs You Are in a Karmic Relationship

sometimes it can feel confusing if you are actually in a Karmic relationship. Here is a list of things you can look towards as signs that you are in a Karmic Relationship:

  1. You Feel An Instant Connection:

You are magnetically drawn to this person; both of you experience high levels of attraction. This is because you have similar past experiences which are being illuminated for healing and you are resonating on the same level. You may feel like you have known them for years and that you have lots in common.

  1. A Fiery, Passionate Beginning:

It can feel like a karmic relationship is moving at one hundred miles per hour with both people experiencing intensely charged emotions. This may appear as a ‘love story’ made in heaven as both people feel they have ‘met their person.’

  1. It Begins to Feel like a Rollercoaster Ride:

A karmic relationship can feel like it is swinging between extreme highs and lows. One moment you may feel high on love and the next you feel like you are crashing down. A fiery, passionate connection can easily turn into a full-blown argument as you and your partner are both triggered to your core.

  1. Co-dependent and Addictive:

A karmic relationship can quickly become co-dependant; you may feel like you cannot live without each other and that you have become addicted to each other’s love. This may lead to ‘enmeshment’ where you begin to lack boundaries for yourself, spend most of your time with your partner, and forget who you were before they came into your life.

  1. Repeating Cycles:

A karmic relationship often highlights our deepest wounds. Therefore, the same issue or argument may arise time and time again, until it is ready to be embraced and healed. This can be extremely exhausting for both you and your partner, and may lead to cycles of ‘break up’ and ‘make-up.’

  1. You Bring Out the Worst in Each Other:

As past karma and life experiences arise for healing, you may feel extremely triggered. This can lead to you ‘acting out’ from your shadow side through fear of losing control. Your partner may then also reach boiling point and you may both be left wondering ‘who the hell are they? I don’t even know this person anymore!’

  1. Self-Sabotage:

The triggers and wounds illuminated in a karmic relationship may lead you or the other person to self-sabotage. The depth of internal turmoil required to reach healing may feel like too much to face. This feeling of heaviness and overwhelm may lead you or your partner to self-sabotage in an attempt to get the other person to give up and end the relationship.

  1. Things Become Stagnant:

After many highs and lows, the energy between you both may become stuck and stagnant; no matter how hard you try to move forward, it may feel like you are both dragging your heels through the mud. Both of you may be wondering whether to end the relationship, whilst simultaneously being petrified of doing so – you are both left wondering ‘Can we do this?’

  1. It Ends As Quickly As it Begins:

After an intense burst of love, passion, and turmoil – the relationship may come to an abrupt end. This is because the lessons have been learned and the karma has been cleared. You have both been forced to face some deep, internal programming and are now both ready for the next chapter in your lives. As soul-crushing as this experience can be, deep down you know that it is time to let go and move on – your energy no longer feels aligned.

Whilst the above signs may lead you to believe that a karmic relationship has to end, this may not always be the case…

Karmic Relationships & Soulmates

If your karmic relationship is feeling intense and difficult, but you are committed to making it work you may be asking:

Can my karmic relationship become a soul mate relationship?

This is a question for hot debate.

I once came across the concept that ‘soulmates were for healing’ and ‘karmic connections were for growth.’ This statement blew my mind. As I reflected on my past relationships, I realized this was true; I have experienced many gentle soulmate connections that have healed parts of my soul, and also highly charged karmic relationships which have challenged every part of me to grow.

On a personal level, I have always ended up leaving the gentle, soul mate connections – perhaps, simply because healing had occurred – but also, because I felt I was not experiencing enough contrast and growth.

Whilst it may not be possible to alter divine timing and the Universe’s plan for the longevity of our karmic relationship, it is possible to make the conscious decision to commit to growth.

Whilst researching, I found accounts of spiritually aware people who have consciously chosen to marry their karmic partner – this is because they favor the amount of spiritual growth that they receive from this kind of relationship.

Therefore, it appears that with commitment and the willingness to dive into a deeper understanding of each other’s triggers, it is possible to remain in a karmic relationship and welcome them into your life as a long-term partner. However, what about twin flames?

Karmic Relationships vs. Twin Flame

It is true that there are many similarities between karmic relationships and twin flames: the feeling of instant recognition, the extreme highs, and lows, triggering each other’s deepest wounds and bringing light to each other’s shadows. However, here are the three main differences…


Intensity >Can feel intense at the beginning, but the intensity will burn out as karma is balanced – they are easier to move on from than a twin flame.The intensity of the connection remains for a lifetime. It can be extremely difficult to get over a twin flame.
Longevity >Often short-lived.The connection can be felt and remains for a lifetime – even travels through lifetimes.
Frequency >Usually, you will only have one experience with a karmic partner – you may have cycles of make-up and break-up but this cycle will be relatively short-lived e.g. a few months to a year.You can have many experiences of returning to your twin flame connection for more healing, insight, and growth. This may span over years, decades, or a lifetime.

After asking the question ‘How did you know the difference between a karmic relationship and your twin flame?’ on an online platform, one respondent answered…

“At the mind level you can’t, at least not until a while. At the intuition level, you know. You see red flags for karmics, red flags that you deny or justify. Why? Because that’s just what good human do – you don’t judge & you naturally flow with your circumstances.

‘Flowing with life’ is natural to us – no effort is needed.

However, when you meet your twin soul somehow you got a ‘reset’ – you forget to flow. The impact of the encounter can be so overwhelming for a human being as you’ve never experienced this kind of connection before. It’s new. You’re being “upgraded”. You’ll be required to relearn same old lessons with different mindset/view experiences from fresh perspectives.”

However, whilst karmic relationships have more ‘red flags’ this doesn’t mean that they can’t be healed…

Healing Karmic Relationships

Whilst it may be hard work, it is possible to heal karmic relationships.

‘Karmic relationships are meant for the evolution of our Consciousness. These are real and divine connections which lead us towards liberation if we handle them without any resistance.’ Vijay Prakash Vijayvargiya

It seems that if we can surrender to the lessons and blessings of a karmic relationship, without resistance then it is possible to clear the karmic bonds and heal the relationship.

Although, healing the relationship may look like one of two things:


Accept that the purpose of your karmic relationship has been served. If the energy has become extremely stuck, stagnant, and heavy then it may be time to move on. If you feel that you have no more energy to give to the relationship, let it go with grace. This act of surrender and faith in the divine plan is in fact, healing.


If you have been fighting, arguing, and pushing each other to the boiling point, it may be time to put down your swords and step into love. You may need to focus on improving your communication, listening with an open heart, and loving them unconditionally. Take a gentle approach, by being kind and compassionate to each other.

Clarity can be found through rest, prayer, and meditation; you may even want to ask for a greater force to work through you to heal the relationship.

Only you will know whether a karmic relationship is truly meant for you. When everything feels like too much, you may need to take some time out to reconnect with yourselves and to calm your systems before trying to ‘work everything out.’

Space will give you clarity.

You can then come back with an open heart, knowing which path is your version of healing.  

‘When it comes to Karmic relationships, it’s not about ending the relationship. It’s about ending the karma.’ – Ritu Atma Kriya Yoga and meditation teacher

However, what happens when a karmic relationship becomes co-dependent?

Karmic Relationships and Co-dependency

Co-dependency may look like the following behaviors:

  • Difficulty making decisions without the other person
  • Difficulty in communicating your true feelings
  • Neglecting your own needs and self-care
  • Being afraid to speak up
  • Feeling disconnected from friends and family
  • Neglecting other areas of your life outside of your relationship

As humans, we are programmed to want to ‘belong’ – this may translate into the workplace, social groups, or with our partners. However, when the desire to ‘belong’ becomes stronger than the desire to be ourselves, this can cause problems.

During an interview with Life Coach, Mentor & Inspirational Speaker, Jake Wellings an interesting concept arose…

“We have two things in a relationship: the need to belong and the need to express ourselves. Usually, in a co-dependent relationship, we give up the need to express our true, authentic selves so that we can ‘belong’ in the relationship. We then become dependent on belonging in the relationship, which leads to self-abandonment and co-dependency.”

This suggests that speaking up, sharing your truth, and communicating your true feelings may be one way to heal a co-dependent relationship. However, if your partner is not open to hearing what you have to say, or respecting your needs, then it may be time to leave the relationship.

Are karmic relationships meant to last?

Karmic relationships are not always meant to last. Sometimes, this kind of relationship may simply be an experience that helps you to grow and propels you onto the next stage of your life.

Whilst this can be a heart-breaking realization, there are also positives associated with the ending of a karmic relationship…

  1. You will have cleared karma from past experiences – this means you will not have to repeat the same lessons in your next relationship.
  2. The lessons learnt in your karmic relationship will extend out into all areas of your life – you may notice positive shifts in your other relationships with family, friends and co-workers as you are no longer being triggered by your past.
  3. You will have learnt to deal with conflict – you will be stepping into your next relationship with improved communication skills.

Often, people who marry young and then experience a fiery divorce are in a karmic relationship.

At first, the ‘instant attraction’ can feel like love at first sight. However, once the couple becomes accustomed to daily life – triggers may end up firing left, right, and center. Before long, the couple may be filing for divorce which can be an especially painful process if children are involved.

On the other hand, there are accounts of people being happily married in what they consider to be a ‘karmic relationship.’ It seems that only you can decide whether this kind of relationship is supporting you to be the best version of yourself, or dragging you down.

How do I get out of a karmic relationship?

Sometimes, it may not be up to you whether your karmic relationship ends.

If it is truly time for you and your partner to go your separate ways, the Universe may throw in some obstacles to support you to let go of the relationship.

This may look like any of the following:

  • You or your partner re-locating for a new job
  • You and your partner discuss having entirely different life goals
  • Logistically being unable to travel or see each other
  • A third person becoming involved with you or your partner

However, if you are making the conscious choice to end your karmic relationship then forgiveness can support you to heal and move on.

‘Healing karmic relationships is about forgiveness. If we are always trying to belong to something else then we can never belong in ourselves. Healing karmic relationships is about self-forgiveness and accepting what has happened in our past.’Jake Wellings

There are many tools to support self-forgiveness including meditations such as The Loving Kindness Meditation or ‘Metta.’ You can find out more about this practice in Bhante Gunaratana’s book – Loving Kindness – in Plain English: The Practise of Metta.

Other useful forgiveness tools include:

Do karmic relationships always end badly?

Karmic relationships do not always have to end badly – if you and your partner have delved into the process and are both committed to seeing it through, then you may find yourself experiencing an even more profound and satisfying connection.

However, you must both be willing to do the inner work and face your shadow.

This may not be an easy task, but the results can be extremely rewarding.

Delving into the past can be a terrifying, highly triggering experience. However, by committing to facing your fears and allowing your shadow side to express itself, you are allowing your partner to see you in your most vulnerable state.

This level of vulnerability can lead to an increased level of intimacy.

And this paves the way for your karmic relationship, to become a long-lasting ‘karmic soulmate.’

In Conclusion

Karmic relationships are not for the faint-hearted; you will no doubt experience extreme highs and lows. However, they offer the opportunity for an abundance of healing and growth, including:

  • releasing old triggers and wounds
  • burning off old karma
  • improving your communication skills
  • healing dynamics in other relationships
  • teaching you how to deal with conflict
  • supporting you to step up and share your feelings
  • practising forgiveness

A karmic relationship is very different from a twin flame relationship in terms of intensity, longevity, and frequency – however, there is the opportunity to transform your karmic relationship into a long-term soul mate connection if you are both willing to commit to the journey.

Picture of Jadine Lydia
Jadine Lydia
Jadine Lydia is an Intuitive Life Coach L.C.H Dip. Freelance Writer & Inspirational Content Creator. She lives on the Cornish coast in South West England. Her writing shares her happy-go-lucky, holistic approach to love, laughter, and life; inspiring others to deepen their connection to the divine. She empowers others to take 'intuitive action' towards manifesting their deepest dreams and desires through her inspirational content, books and e-courses. www.jadinelydia.com

Related Posts

Share this article: