Holding a Masculine Frame: 3 skills for awakening manhood

Developing a Masculine Frame gives a man a strong aura. It is magnetic.

Unfortunately, many men today don’t know where to find the confidence and strength within their Masculinity. In this article, we will be looking at what a Masculine Frame is and how you can develop a stronger connection to your Masculinity. 

What is a Masculine Frame?

A person’s Masculine Frame is how they embody and project their Masculinity. A strong Masculine Frame can be seen in how someone walks with confidence, holds leadership, and is seen as a role model of Masculinity.

Masculine Energy + Emotional Control + Self Confidence = Masculine Frame

A Masculine frame comes from being mentally, spiritually, and physically balanced. It’s about being confident without being dominant, stoic without being callous, ambitious without being ruthless, and competitive without being psychopathic.

Masculine Frame is more about the way you act.

It isn’t inherently Male or Female. It is separate from biology.

A Masculine Frame could also be seen as an example of “performing gender.” Check out my full article on Gender Performance to learn more.

In the rest of this article, I will be looking at the benefits of holding a Masculine Frame and how to deepen your relationship to Masculinity. 

Benefits of holding a Masculine Frame

You can gain a lot by holding a solid Masculine Frame. It can help your partner relax into their own femininity through sexual polarity and help you feel confident in your manhood.

  • Increase your confidence as a man
  • Help create polarity in your relationship
  • Gain respect from other men
  • Magnetize people towards you
  • Find a sense of comfort and self-assurance in yourself

When I was younger (my teens through my 20’s), I had forsaken my Masculinity. I wasn’t given any role models of acting and just saw the destructive aspects of “hyper” Masculinity.

So I pushed it away.

It worked, but eventually, I saw some unhealthy patterns filling the void of my Masculinity.

My relationships were lifeless, and I lacked confidence in myself. 

This is what happens if you push your Masculinity aside.

After realizing this, I spent years in therapy. I worked with Masculine Archetypes and began to create a personal connection to my Masculinity. 

There is a lot to be gained by exploring and developing your Masculine Frame.

I do want to add a word of caution. Don’t try to act more “Manly” or stress to make yourself act more manly if that is not what your personality is naturally. 

I strongly discourage you from attempting to be someone other than yourself. Only do what feels good and makes you feel more like yourself. 

If you push yourself to be more masculine or fit a mold of Masculinity that is not inherent to your personality, then you will most likely fall into an unhealthy cycle of Hegemonic Masculinity. 

How to hold a Develop your Masculine Frame

You develop your Masculine Frame by learning how to hold a strong sense of yourself (your Frame) and make it unyielding.

In other words, it’s about standing up for what you believe in.

It’s about being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, knowing when to ask for help, and trusting yourself when you can do it alone. 

This is, of course, utopian. Nobody can always maintain a perfect Masculine Frame all the time. 

We’re all human.

There are times when it’s better to not be in our Masculine Frame and soften into our inner Feminine. Like when we are grieving and would like the love or care of a partner. 

It’s ok to let down the Masculine Frame, but for many, the goal is to keep a Masculine Frame as much as possible.

I have found four skills that help men (and anyone) strengthen their Masculine Frame. 

SKILL 1: Self reflect

The most important part is taking the time to know yourself. 

Life is constantly pressuring you and trying to push you one way or the other. It’s important to learn how to quiet the outside voices of who you “sold be” and instead listen to the inner voice whispering who you truly are.

Learning how to connect to the core of who you are will give your life guidance. 

It will let you fully commit.

Making you a bedrock of strength and determination.

Some tools that have helped me find this inner confidence are:

  • Regular meditation and compilation
  • Working with Masculine Archetypes
  • Journaling each dar or at least once a week

SKILL 2: Learning how to interact with people

Once you have a strong inner sense of who you are, you should learn how to communicate/collaborate with others. 

Someone in their Masculine Frame is not overly dominant or submissive. They know what they want and how to work with people respectfully and openly to make it a win-win for everyone. 

The Masculine is also about holding a clear and safe space for other people’s emotions and giving stability to their relationship. 

Here are 5 important social skills:

  • Active listening
  • Conflict resolution
  • Effective communication
  • Empathy
  • Relationship management

The key to communication is practice. 

Try practicing authentic communication with your friends, brothers, sisters, or just talking to strangers. It’s about “being real” and raw with where you are at while simultaneously holding a space for others to open up. 

At the very least, here are some things you can try and avoid to make your communication better.

  1. Stop using Passive-Aggressive or Sarcasm – If a person continually criticizes people in a passive-aggressive or sarcastic manner, real solutions to issues are impossible to find. Sarcasm is sometimes misinterpreted as a personal assault and may swiftly evolve into something quite unpleasant. As an alternate, try to be honest and sincere.
  2. Stop taking things personally – Getting angry at or demeaning someone because they will instantly stop the conversation from being constructive/helpful. If someone is having a hard time or is upset, learn not to take it personally. Let them have their experiences/emotions and know that it doesn’t mean they are attacking you. 
  3. Don’t Disregard someone else’s feelings – When someone tells you they are having a hard time, don’t try to justify why they should be ok. Instead, listen and try and understand their perspective. Even if you can’t, try to hold compassion.
  4. Don’t use “you” statements – One of the biggest keys to good communication is speaking from the “I.” Even better, speak from the body. Like saying how your body feels when hearing something or how emotions you are struggling with feeling. Don’t project the story as if other people are feeling/seeing the same thing as you. 

SKILL 3: Learn Emotional Awareness

It’s really hard to hold space for anyone else when you don’t even hold space for yourself. 

A key to holding a strong Masculine Frame is knowing where, what, and why you are feeling. 

It’s about seeing emotions when they are deep under the surface and giving them the time and space to process, instead of waiting for them to bubble over and hurt others. 

It takes practice and a lot of self-reflection to learn how you process emotions. 

I highly suggest these two books:

SKILL 4: Holding a container with your physical presence

An important aspect of the Masculine Frame is holding the energy of a guardian, which sends a message of safety and liberation to the feminine soul.

If you wish to produce polarization between masculine and feminine energies (aka build chemistry), you have to learn to create a container. 

Creating a great container involves being able to handle the crap when it hits the fan, both within and outwardly, with your emotions and actions, and words. 

It also signifies you’re still in charge when everything is not going according to plan and can handle the rougher moments of life.

.You can do this by learning to expand your awareness of the physical space and the world around you. It’s about feeling your consciousness out into every corner of the room. 

The skill of holding space is a vital piece for leadership – Both in the community and the workplace.

When you master the art of holding a safe space, you will be able to step into your Masculine Frame fully. 

In Conclusion:

When you hold a Masculine Frame, it can be a magnetic force. It helps people feel safe, respect you as a leader, and can give you deep inner confidence. 

You can develop your Masculine Frame by working on:

  • Self Reflection
  • Communication
  • Emotional Awareness
  • Holding a Safe Space for others

If you are interested in understanding your Masculinity, I highly suggest these other articles from the HeroRise Blog:

Understanding the Masculine Archetypes

What even is Masculinity?

Overcoming Insecure Masculinity

If you are interested in the Masculine Archetypes, check out the Masculine Archetype Deck.

Picture of Isaac Cotec
Isaac Cotec
Creator of HeroRise, Isaac Cotec has dedicated his life to empowering others through art and creativity. He is a scholar of the subconscious and has studied the power of symbolism to help create enduring change.