The Dark Night Of The Soul is astonishing, frightening, and a transformative experience. It shakes your very soul and forces you to face your shadows to immerge as something new.
In this article, I will be sharing insight on the stages of the Dark Night Of The Soul. Knowing the process can give you hope and understanding of your experience.
What is the Dark Night Of The Soul?
The Dark Night Of The Soul is a stage of development when a person undergoes a dissolution of the self. It is a collapse of a perceived meaning in life and an important transition to a deeper perception of one’s role in life.
It can feel like an existential crisis —forcing you to question the meaning of life.
Eckhart Tolle has described it as:
The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level. The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example, if your child dies. Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.
As bad as that sounds… it’s actually a good thing.
It’s a profoundly transformative experience that can bring about a new purpose in life.
After the Dark Night Of The Soul, a new spirit is birthed.
It’s a process that many people go through multiple times in one life.
Stages of The Dark Night Of The Soul
The Dark Night Of The Soul is usually experienced in four distinct stages.
- Lighting Stikes
- The Dissolution
- The Purge
- Re-integration
While we are in the experience, we can feel trapped in one of the stages, but it’s important to know that they are all interconnected and a part of a larger process.
The parts that suck still suck. But it’s good to know that eventually, the light will shine again.
1. Lighting strikes
The first stage is when the Lighting Stikes.
Before this stage, you might feel as if life is meandering forward—no big changes. Then a realization comes. Some spark hits you making you feel as if there is more to life.
I often think of the image of Tower Card from the tarot.
This can also be viewed as the Call To Change in the hero’s journey.
It can seem like utter chaos coming out of tragedy, but it is the first step to a deep soul-change.
2. The Dissolution
Once life begins to change, it can be a growling dissolution. You might find yourself being uninspired by past hobbies.
It can feel as if life is falling apart and ripping at the seams.
This process is the dissolving of your past ego. You’ll have to face old wounds so you can begin to repair and rebuild.
3. The Purge
After your full breakdown, you are given the opportunity to find out what truly matters.
The Purge is a moment where you can take stock of what is essential —leaving behind what no longer serves you. It can be a moment of clarity and cleaning space. Both physically and emotionally.
4. Re-integrate
During the re-integration stage, you are finally making your way back to the light. After all the chaos and pain, life can feel like it’s getting its color back.
It’s like the rising of the phoenix —finding yourself anew.
You might find old habits have changed or that you have a new set of hobbies. During this stage, it’s important not to get complacent and fall back into old habits. Otherwise, you are doomed to repeat the process.
LEARN MORE: When does shadow work end?
Experiencing the Dark Night Of The Soul
Once you become aware of this process, you might notice it happening in smaller cycles throughout the year.
As an artist, I feel like I go through a Dark Night of the Soul every time I finish a project. I spent so much time giving birth to something and wrapping up my ego and intention to it. Once completed, I always have this depression and darkness that settles in.
Now that I am familiar with the cycle, I know it will be a few days or a few weeks before I break through and find new inspiration in life.
But boy, oh boy, have I had bigger Dark Nights of the Soul that lasted over the years.
The most important thing to keep in mind is it’s just a cycle you go through during a moment of change.
What triggers the Dark Night Of The Soul?
A catastrophe in life can trigger the Dark Night of the Soul. Like a death in the family, loss of a job, divorce, or mid-life crisis. These events can shake you out of the normal day-to-day.
I have had a Dark Night Of The Soul triggered by moving, breaking up with a partner, and even getting scolded by a mentor.
There are many situations that can cause us to begin the cycle found in the Dark Night Of The Soul.
All of these have in common is that the event makes you question the meaning of life. That question is what can cause so much angst and distress if you aren’t willing to change.
How long does a Dark Night Of The Soul last?
A Dark Night Of The Soul can last anywhere from a few months to a few years. The length is dependent on the intensity of the experience and your willingness to change. If you hold on to your ego too tightly, it can last a long time.
Instead of fixating on how long it will last, it can be helpful to remember it’s a process.
Happiness and transformation isn’t a destination; it is a process.
Take your time and have patients.
How do I get out of the Dark Night Of The Soul?
The way through is surrender.
When you are going through a Dark Night Of The Soul, things can feel desolate and bleak. You might find yourself pushing things away and isolating.
It can be tempting to turn to pity, doubt, and distractions.
The longer you don’t face why you have to change, the longer the experience will last.
The key is to cultivate patience and openness to the process. Try and be inquisitive and take this as an opportunity to know yourself on a deeper level.
The faster you do that, the faster you will find yourself breaking free of the Dark Night.
If you are feeling stuck, here are a few things you can do to get through the Dark Night Of The Soul:
- Meditate and find solitude
- Enjoy nature
- Eat nutrition foods
- Seek counsel in others
- Remember that this too shall pass
A really important point here is that it’s important to seek help. You don’t have to suffer through this alone.
Talk to your loved ones and seek a therapist to help guide you through this process.
In a paper on mental health, Glòria Durà-Vilà and Simon Dein put into words the importance of finding counseling:
Those who have undergone the Dark Night emphasize the important role of having an accompanying personal relationship during this time of spiritual suffering. Spiritual mentors and confessors can be inestimable companions to give assistance during theDark Night as they can provide the orientation and the perspective of someone experienced and wise, and someone who is not immersed in this darkness.
In Conclusion:
The Dark Night Of The Soul is a powerful experience. It shakes you to the very core of who you are.
Adyashanti once said, “Enlightenment is a destructive process. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”
Even though it is an uncomfortable journey, it will eventually lead you to a more potent and purposeful life.
Just remember, your leveling up.
St John of the Cross (writer of the poem that coined the phrase, “The Dark Night Of The Soul”) once said:
The endurance of darkness is the preparation for great light.
St John of the Cross
